How Sexuality and Religion Are Connected in Highly Religious Families
By Isabella Thompson, Erin Smidt, Celsey Selland, and David Allsop
This blog is a summary of our published article:
Clarke, R. W., Leavitt, C. E., Allsop, D. B., Marks, L. D., & Dollahite, D. C. (2021). How sexuality and religion intersect in highly religious families: Implications for clinicians. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 342–359. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2021.2014052
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How do sexuality and religion interact in households where faith is a significant factor? Religion shapes values, relationships, and daily life for many families. In highly religious households, sexuality can be both meaningful and challenging, affecting communication, behavior, and moral boundaries. Understanding these influences could help clinicians and families support healthy sexual communication and relationships while respecting faith, as sexuality and religion are closely linked in shaping identity and family life.
Purpose of the Study
Researchers wanted to better understand connections between religion and sexuality in highly religious families, as well as similarities and differences across faiths
What did we do?
Researchers interviewed 198 Muslim, Christian, and Jewish families across the United States. They used semi-structured, open-ended interviews to have in-depth discussions about the topic. Even though sexuality was not a prearranged subject, people brought it up on their own, sharing it’s connections to their religious beliefs. The research team used inductive coding, a method in which themes and patterns are identified directly from the interview data rather than being predetermined, to identify key ideas shared across different religions.
What did we find?
The researchers found several themes in the data.
Sex as Sacred: Many couples referred to sexual connection as a "divine gift" or as something that has spiritual significance and fortifies marriage ties. Couples often highlighted that faith could deepen the emotional and spiritual meaning of sex by linking intimacy to feelings of gratitude, respect, and closeness to God.
Rules, Boundaries, and Prohibitions: Based on religious teachings, many participants strongly disapproved of premarital sex, adultery, and pornography. Although they might sometimes lead to feelings of shame and guilt, religious laws provided many families with structure and direction.
Silence Around Sex: Many families avoided having direct conversations about sexuality because they felt it was private, modest, or even forbidden, even though they understood how important it was. Although this silence came from values of respect and humility, it sometimes made it difficult for young people to find reliable information or talk openly about sexual topics.
Sexuality as a Source of Struggle: Some families discussed concerns, including sexual orientation, the usage of pornography, and feelings of guilt or shame, as examples of the conflict between religious beliefs and real-life experiences. These conflicts brought to light the difficulty of striking a balance between religious fervor and the complexity of sexuality.
What does this mean?
In many families, sexuality and religion are closely intertwined, influencing relationships, values, and individual identities. By promoting sexual connections as sacred, faith can give sex a positive meaning for some people, but also contribute to conflict, shame, or silence.
Implications for Clinicians
When working with religious families, clinicians should discuss sexuality in the context of a client’s faith. Religion can create challenges by setting strict rules or feelings of shame, but it can also serve as a source of strength by giving life a sense of sacred meaning. Clinicians can help clients navigate sexuality and sexual relationships in ways that honor their beliefs.
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